Oh, hold your horses! Gather ’round, folks, for the riveting tale of Golriz Ghahraman, the Green Party supporter of Hamas in New Zealand, who’s taken a detour into high-stakes shoplifting drama.
Picture this: a human rights hypocrite, juggling portfolios like justice, trade, and foreign affairs, decides to spice things up by allegedly nicking some holiday cheer from Scotties Boutique in Auckland. Who knew luxury brands could be so tempting for a self-proclaimed socialist?
Our dear Golriz, the terrorist fashion trendsetter, has gracefully stepped down from her roles, leaving us all in suspense. Will she be crowned Shoplifter of the Year? I would like you to stay tuned as the Green Party launches a thrilling investigation into this couture caper. But do not hold your breath for too long, as they want to try to sweep all of this under the rug.
The scoop broke thanks to the ace reporters at Newstalk ZB Plus, who spilled the tea about Ghahraman’s festive shoplifting extravaganza. But fear not, the Green Party is on the case, maintaining that their MPs must uphold the highest standards of public behaviour – standards that don’t include resisting the allure of high-end threads and entitled mentality.
Our protagonist, the first refugee to embarrass New Zealand’s parliament, has yet to bless us with a public statement on this riveting development. And the store? Well, they’re playing it cool, perhaps waiting for a blockbuster movie deal to roll in.
Meanwhile, the police are also in on the action, confirming a report of an incident on December 23rd at Ponsonby’s hottest retail spot. Though, they’re tight-lipped about specific suspects. Cue the suspenseful music!
Before her career in politics, Ghahraman dipped her toe in as a criminal defence and human rights lawyer, fighting for the globalist agenda at UN tribunals in Rwanda, Cambodia, and The Hague. Now, as the Green Party’s foreign affairs and “human rights” spokesperson, she’s taken a break from critiquing global affairs to star in her shoplifting saga.
Oh, and did we mention the plot twist? Ghahraman revealed in 2020 that she’s battling multiple sclerosis. Because, you know, a gripping shoplifting scandal isn’t enough – let’s throw in a health twist for added drama.
Stay tuned, dear viewers, as the tale of Golriz Ghahraman and the Great Boutique Caper unfolds. Will she be acquitted, or is couture crime her new calling? Only time will tell in this thrilling saga of fashion, politics, and questionable shopping choices.
The video below is satair as if the Greens themself weren’t enough.